Does she have to have more than one child or can she know form one, what makes a mother secure in her parenting?

Everyone talks about adoption as a “win” for everyone involved. What does a mother “win” when she loses her baby to adoption?

My grandmother and a cousin both developed severe rheumatic autoimmune diseases after pregnancy, when being previously fine before pregnancy. I have not been able to find any additional evidence of pregnancy causing an autoimmune disease to develop, but am wondering if anyone knows of a link between the two, either clinical or anecdotal.
I realize that pregnancy has effects on women who already have autoimmune diseases, but am trying to weigh the risks of developing an illness from being pregnant. Any additional information would be very helpful. Thank you!

I know that for some adoption agencies in the US and in some countries there are different rules for adoption. Previous depression, BMI, etc are also factors.
Are private adoptions subject to the same rules/conditions?