http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned Wed, 14 Jul 2010 19:28:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-873 Birthers are NOT mothers Thu, 31 Dec 2009 20:58:56 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-873 The most important thing discussed on her it that nothing is the adandoners fault. The children were "lost"! The most important thing discussed on her it that nothing is the adandoners fault. The children were “lost”!

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-872 jazminsm Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:38:50 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-872 Well, I was adopted when i was like 2 because mah bio. mom and my bio. dad tryed to kill me when i was younger. nd i need help looking for my bio. father. and i didnt learn **** i was too young Well, I was adopted when i was like 2 because mah bio. mom and my bio. dad tryed to kill me when i was younger.
nd i need help looking for my bio. father.
and i didnt learn ****
i was too young

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-871 FlyingMo Thu, 31 Dec 2009 17:20:58 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-871 Been here for a long time lurking...but then started to post a few months ago. I think the extremes of the answers and questions were eye opening but extremely helpful for me to center in on a norm of how I feel and how I will parent. There are some assumptions that adoptive parents are horrible and adopting only due to the inability to conceive and that their adoptive children are fill in dolls (seriously, really?). That many posts assume relingquishing parents were all 100% "taken advantage of." I also found with some surprise how angry some adoptees were (and given some of the posts--rightly so) and how many of them were hanging on--even fanning each other's angers. This is a good place for many to rationalize their choices from many years ago and for some it's probably good therapy. I love the board. There are some incredibly smart and informed people on here---and there are some incredibly stupid ones--but we can all get together and express ourselves. Great place. Been here for a long time lurking…but then started to post a few months ago.
I think the extremes of the answers and questions were eye opening but extremely helpful for me to center in on a norm of how I feel and how I will parent. There are some assumptions that adoptive parents are horrible and adopting only due to the inability to conceive and that their adoptive children are fill in dolls (seriously, really?). That many posts assume relingquishing parents were all 100% “taken advantage of.” I also found with some surprise how angry some adoptees were (and given some of the posts–rightly so) and how many of them were hanging on–even fanning each other’s angers. This is a good place for many to rationalize their choices from many years ago and for some it’s probably good therapy.
I love the board. There are some incredibly smart and informed people on here—and there are some incredibly stupid ones–but we can all get together and express ourselves. Great place.

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-870 Nils baby sister Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:46:10 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-870 I have been on here since July as i was getting in touch with my bio mother & bio father for the first time. Itcan be a very touchy subject, with strong views in all directions given. Some answers are very judgemental and strongly opiniated, that their views are always right. Constant thumbs down to a question is unecessary & shows lack of empathy in most cases. Alot of adoptees are hurting and are still suffering. Adoptive parents are seeing as doing the wrong thing 9 times out of 10.....when they have the best intentions. You cannot change the past & holding on to it makes no sense to me, i had a shocking life of abuse as a child in my Adoptive family, do i blame my bio-mother for that? since she relinquished me? do i use this as an excuse not to move forward.....No! I have been on here since July as i was getting in touch with my bio mother & bio father for the first time.
Itcan be a very touchy subject, with strong views in all directions given.
Some answers are very judgemental and strongly opiniated, that their views are always right.
Constant thumbs down to a question is unecessary & shows lack of empathy in most cases.
Alot of adoptees are hurting and are still suffering.
Adoptive parents are seeing as doing the wrong thing 9 times out of 10…..when they have the best intentions.
You cannot change the past & holding on to it makes no sense to me, i had a shocking life of abuse as a child in my Adoptive family, do i blame my bio-mother for that? since she relinquished me? do i use this as an excuse not to move forward…..No!

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-869 BLW_KAM Thu, 31 Dec 2009 11:30:24 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-869 I've been here since August. I've learned I have a lot to learn (and birthmother is an offensive word to many people). ETA: I like the new hair & hat! I’ve been here since August. I’ve learned I have a lot to learn (and birthmother is an offensive word to many people).
ETA: I like the new hair & hat!

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-868 RPMR Thu, 31 Dec 2009 04:53:52 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-868 I've been here since August! The most important thing I've learned is the effect of adoption on the adopted child. As an adoptive mother that knowledge has made me a better mother for my little one. I’ve been here since August! The most important thing I’ve learned is the effect of adoption on the adopted child. As an adoptive mother that knowledge has made me a better mother for my little one.

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-867 anastasia beaverhausen Wed, 30 Dec 2009 22:48:47 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-867 i got here by accident in february. the best thing that i learned was that there was the adult adoptees forum. that board has been a life saver. i got here by accident in february.
the best thing that i learned was that there was the adult adoptees forum. that board has been a life saver.

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-866 Andraya searchin for Jay11/29/94 Wed, 30 Dec 2009 19:14:36 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-866 I've been here a little over a year. The most important thing I have learned is that there is a forum out there in cyberland strictly FOR ADOPTEES, without coming here I never would have found it! I’ve been here a little over a year. The most important thing I have learned is that there is a forum out there in cyberland strictly FOR ADOPTEES, without coming here I never would have found it!

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-865 R Wed, 30 Dec 2009 14:52:25 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-865 i think about 15months i think or at least that is when i started coming on regularly. That is when we started doing or foster to adopt pre service classes. i learned so many things to numerous to count. i think about 15months i think or at least that is when i started coming on regularly. That is when we started doing or foster to adopt pre service classes.
i learned so many things to numerous to count.

]]> http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned/comment-page-1#comment-864 mama-of- Wed, 30 Dec 2009 08:41:58 +0000 http://www.babymake.com/how-long-have-you-been-in-the-adoption-section-and-what-is-the-most-important-thing-you-learned#comment-864 I just started to read this section, and I have noticed a trend in which a pattern is developing where children who were given up for adoption, go on then to have a child and put it up for adoption. Just a thought I just started to read this section, and I have noticed a trend in which a pattern is developing where children who were given up for adoption, go on then to have a child and put it up for adoption.
Just a thought

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