Comments on: How Do I Tell My Friend To Stop Giving Me Parenting Advice?

By: grmilet

grmilet — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 21:07:29 +0000

i have to put up with that all the time from my mom in law quit frankly she did a lousy job with her 3 kids i just tell her thanks for the advice but i will handle this my way she gets mad but she keeps give her opinion you will learn to block it out or tell her my kid my rules shut up

By: shorty

shorty — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 18:19:35 +0000

I would just be blunt about it. Tell her that she has her own opinions but so do you so keep hers to herself. Also I just want to give you one piece of advice about the tantrums. I have a 3 year old and she did the same thing and I just brushed it off I am regretting that now because the tantrums have gotten worse. I wish I would have disciplined more to stop it then. There is nothing wrong with spanking as long as you have good self control and don’t get carried away. Good Luck and just be honest with your friend.

By: carla s

carla s — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 17:21:22 +0000

If push comes to shove tell your “friend” that you find her constant critisisum hurtful, you are after all the childs mother and it is up to you what punishment (if any) your child receives what she eats etc.. make a point in conversations to say “my son/daughter” or if that dont work break contact for a while.

By: annmarie

annmarie — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 15:38:49 +0000

she doesnt sound like much of a friend, criticising your every move. stop her coming around your house slowly. she sounds like a prima donna who thinks she’s all that wait until she’s got to or three rug rats driving her up the wall then you can laugh right in her face. tell her to bolt, she’s stressing you out and being a mum is stressful enough without her adding to the pressure

By: TrueSoul

TrueSoul — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 10:18:49 +0000

I would go to Kmart and buy her a babyrattle or some inexpensive baby gift under $5, then wrap it up nicely and include a note. “I know you are very eager to be a parent, you have already even begun doing a lot of reading and reasearch, and you are soo eager to put everything into practice! So in anticipation of the great day you become a mother, I wanted to be the first to congratulate you!” If this hint is not enough for her and she continues giving you advice, buy her a fertility book “How to get pregnant fast” and wrap it up nicely again and write a note, “Hope this helps. I know you rely a lot on written word for parenting, so here are my two cents, hope it helps to get you pregnant soon! Best of luck!” And everytime she talks to you about parenting, abruptly switch the subject to fertility and pregnancy and ask her how is it going with the baby planning. Soon enough she will learn not to ask for unwanted advice!

By: listen_u

listen_u — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 08:36:06 +0000

There are several ways to stop people giving you unsolicited advice.
You may decide to just nod and do what you know is the right thing to do; just keep silent and allow them to rant on and on while you do what you know is the right thing to do.
You can look them straight in the eye whenever they start and give them a look that will tell them their advice is not needed/ welcome .
You can find some “neutral” time (when they’re not giving you the advice) and tell them you appreciate their interest and concern for you to do a good job of parenting but would like for them to be a little more understanding of your need to get it right at your own pace, and that their nattering is just a wee bit unhelpful.
OR you could hold the same kind of meeting and tell them to please leave you alone.
If all these do not work, you can tell a mutual friend who may be able to mediate in the ‘stalemate’.
If all these fail, then keep away from them until they come to their senses!!
I want to add that in most case such people think they’re trying to help, so be considerate and try all means of approach to get them to understand how you feel.
All the best!!

By: momof3gr

momof3gr — Tue, 09 Feb 2010 01:53:14 +0000

It seems like to me a lot of people that have no experience like to give advice. Tell her you appreciate her caring about you and your child but she is your child and you would like to raise her the way you see fit to do so. something you can with her about the book thing is to ask if you can borrow it and do some research on your own with it. One of the reasons she may be doing this is because she’s jealous of you wants to be a mom herself, she can put to practice all this stuff when she does become a mother.

By: E's Mommy

E's Mommy — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 20:59:25 +0000

Tell her “I appreciate your need to help, but you can talk until you’re blue in the face and I will still raise my daughter my way. If you wish you raise your children that way, go ahead, but my daughter will be raised the way I see fit”
And repeat it every time she tries to give you parenting advice. Pretty soon she’ll get tired of hearing it, and STFU.

By: mikeae

mikeae — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 17:31:58 +0000

I had to do that myself only with someone who I have called my sister even tho there is no blood between us.
You need to sit her down and tell her exactly how you feel. If she is truly your friend she will understand. I told mine “I appreciate the advice and the assitance. Really I do. But lately it has been getting out of hand. Could you please stop with the advice. Yes I might make mistakes with my kids, but they are my kids and my mistakes to make.”
She looked at me and said FINALLY.

By: baptism_

baptism_ — Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:07:25 +0000

MOST LIKELY SHE IS TRYING TO BE HELPFUL TO YOU IN ALL THE WRONG WAYS. I WOULD SAY LET HER CARE FOR YOUR CHILD AND HER TUNE MIGHT CHANGE, BUT WHY PUNISH YOUR CHILD FOR THE WAY YOUR FRIEND IS ACTING. YOU COULD TALK TO HER ABOUT IT AND SAY, I KNOW YOU ARE MEANING WELL, BUT I NEED TO DO IT THE WAY THAT IS WORKING FOR MY DAUGHTER AND I.